I received an email the other day through my professional site inquiring about my birth doula services. The pregnant person told me about about herself and then asked if I was Christian and could support her spiritually during her birth. This is not the first time someone has asked such a question of me. I also see it with some frequency on social media, “so and so is looking for a ‘Christian doula’ can anyone help?” Most commonly, it is a “Christian doula” that someone is seeking or advertising themselves. I’m sure there are Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, etc. doulas out there who advertise as such, but Christian is the most common one in my experience.
As a non-Christian, I am always taken aback by these requests. I question the ethics of both seeking a doula based on religion and of being a doula and advertising your religious affiliation.
As a pregnant person, is seeking a Christian (or other religion) Doula religious discrimination or is it preference?
If a person’s religion is part of their core foundation of who they are, it may be appropriate to seek someone who shares their belief system. However, this is question of employment. The doula client employs the doula. Generally, we don’t ask or care if the plumber is of a certain religion… or the accountant, or the house painter, or the lawn care service, etc. Those are people we hire to do a job based on their qualifications, skill set, experience, etc. Their religion has not impact on their ability to fix my toilet, do my taxes, or mow my lawn.
The doula client may argue that they want someone to pray with them or perform a ceremony during birth, so they need a (religion) doula. However, that’s not a doula’s job. It is a fundamental misunderstanding of what a doula does. Doulas provide physical support (massage, change positions, offering food and drink), emotional support (a listening ear), and informational support (side effects of medications, communication skills with medical staff). Nowhere in a doula’s training or job description is “religious support.” So, the client is seeking a service for which the doula isn’t trained or qualified to perform.
At the core of this is that as an employer, one cannot discriminate based on an employee’s religion. So, not hiring a person because they don’t meet religious criteria is discrimination. No employer in the US can decline to hire you based on your religion. As a doula client, hiring or not hiring a doula with the doula’s religion being criteria for employment is unethical and, in some cases, illegal.
Ok, but what about those people who want or need to have some sort of spiritual support during birth? That is what friends, family, or a religious leader is for. That’s not a doula’s job and that person can attend a birth in their appropriate capacity. The doula’s job in the scenario is to make space for the prayer or other religious aspects so that it can take place safely and uninterrupted.
Is advertising yourself as a Christian (or other religion) Doula discriminating against those of other religions?
On the surface, this one appears to be a bit more of a grey area. It isn’t explicit, “I don’t want to work with people who aren’t of (religion).” However, by saying “I’m a (religion) doula” you are both describing yourself and implicitly telling the person who is not of that religion that you don’t really want to work with them no matter how “inclusive” you say you are. By categorizing yourself as a (religion) doula you tell the reader who you want to be working with. Bible quotes on your doula site tell people of other religions, or people who have no religion, that you are a member of a group to which they do not belong and you turn away those people. You turn away LGBTQIA+ by advertising your religion because of existing discrimination by many religions. Maybe that’s what you want to do as a (religion) doula but understand that you are excluding other from your services. That is religious discrimination, even if it is not intentional.
OK, so the (religion) doula client finds the (religion) doula and they work well together. Isn’t that why the (religion) doula advertises their religion and the (religion) client asks about religion? Is there a problem with that?
No, there isn’t a problem with that, per se. Every client needs the right doula for them. I am not the right doula for everyone. The problem arises when someone of another religion is seeking doula services or is a doula. That is where the discrimination comes in. Simply by stating your religion, as either client or doula, you implicitly tell the other person that you are not for them.
Oh, and there’s one more question you should never ask a doula because it also doesn’t impact their ability to do a good job. You’ll have to visit my other site to find out what that question is, however.